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We hope you enjoyed watching Jesus Hates You Now.
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Every religious cult has a method for dealing with doubters and escapees. Shame, threats, physical cruelty, all manner of psychological abuse. But at Eternal Hearth Ministries, they have found the ultimate weapon of human fear: a hand puppet that continually threatens your groin area. With it, they can completely obliterate all of your previous religious beliefs in just one gentle, psychotic afternoon. This is that afternoon. And these are the secrets of their patented techniques.